(via lustyou)
diet pills
they have officially been sent!!! yay! cant wait for them to get here:):) Oxy Elite Pro, 3 bottles of 90 pills… should last me until christmas :D
Master cleanse
I started the master cleanse yesterday at a shameful 174.4 lbs. after notorious nights of binge eating, I felt I needed to get way back on track, I am currently about to weigh in and am super excited! Yesterday I didn’t get home until about 1230 am and weighed in (typical). I was ecstatic to see 168 on the scale- total of 6 lbs lost! But I also was probably severly dehydrated because after reading that I drank 2 full bottles of water. Any loss is a good loss though! 170.8- total loss of 3.6 lbs yesterday! :D
I feel like shit tonight, again. Had such a good day at work, was working hard and had managed to eat very little.. Only to come home to my horrible sister saying mean things to me and it just put me over the edge. All I could think of was wanting to self harm.. Cut, overdose, get in a car crash.. Anything! I just want the pain to stop sometimes. Instead what do I do? I fucking eat. I’m so pissed at myself now.. I purged some but know I didn’t get it all. Ugh I just wish I could get control over my life! I feel like every situation that arises and complicates my life I turn to food when I shouldn’t be! I’m going to attempt to start going to the gym whenever I get the urge to self harm or eat. Anyways tomorrow will be a good day, I only work 6-2 and then I will be able to workout and relax :) I really look forward to it. Its been a stressful 3 days.. I’ve worked 38 hours in 3 days and am so dead. I need a little me time. So ill workout, nap, do some errands and then maybe meet up with a friend to see crazy, stupid, love. I’m excited. Aiming for no food tomorrow. I don’t even have my lax here right now to take :’( what a horrible night. More later, sleeptime now, xx
